major detour

the road to 30 came and went in a blink of an eye....oh, and I weigh the exact same amount I did 6 months ago.  Sweet.  what can possibly motivate me at this time?  I know that people think I am fat.  I mean, I think i'm fat.  I saw a picture of myself and it was none to pretty.  Do you know what it feels like to not be able to wear shorts all summer b/c you dont fit into them and you refuse to buy new ones.  Pretty fucking horrible.  Oh and then you run out of gym shorts to wear so you put your husband's on. Ouch.  Well time to kick it into gear.  Whatever that means.  My question is:  am I always destined to be a buck 50?